


mine.

by thiyaksokhae



Series: this christmas, i'll give you a smile [1]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Confessions, Fluff, M/M, No Plot, hints of markjin cause you know me, idek what is this, non-au, pretty lighthearted on the whole, the others are there too but not that important
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 11:18:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13122642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiyaksokhae/pseuds/thiyaksokhae
Summary: "i'm sorry, he's mine. you can't have him."-- 2jae, 2k-allthedamntime





	mine.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ruuta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruuta/gifts).



> for ruta, whose fanart inspires me to different levels and whose positivity got me back some of my lost confidence. i hope you're having a good holiday, and i hope you like this ode to fluffy 2jae <3 ily! ^^

“You're staring.” 

 

Jaebum turns to look at the one who spoke. Jinyoung has a huge grin on his face, the one that makes Jaebum want to turn and run away because it screams pure evil. Then again, Jinyoung is pure evil. Jaebum is usually in a state of perennial pity during fanmeets, wanting to yell at the poor, delicate fans who bestow Jinyoung with titles like Angel and Prince, yell that they are being majorly played. Played like a violin. Because behind that beautiful, porcelain face that they love so much (Jaebum doesn't see it, he's known Jinyoung too long), there lie copious amounts of unadulterated evil.

 

“What?” Jaebum opts to say dumbly, caught off guard by the grin and hyperaware that the resulting conversation is going to go anything but well for him.

 

“You're staring,” repeats Jinyoung, exaggerating the pronunciation of the syllables so that Jaebum has no doubt.

 

“Staring? At what?” attempts Jaebum, hoping that Jinyoung will find him in too dumb a state to continue the conversation. 

 

“Not at what,” says Jinyoung, his tone dripping with acidic sweetness. Again, pure evil. How does no one see it? “At who. That would be the correct question.”

 

Jaebum freezes. Well fuck, he's been caught. Not caught staring. He was merely watching. Observing. Mentally painting a picture, ‘cause that's something everyone does, right? Right?

 

Okay, so he was staring. But that doesn't mean that Jinyoung has any right to call him out. So what if Jinyoung is his best friend?

 

Okay, so he has every right. That doesn't mean that Jaebum knows how to respond.

 

“I don't know what you're talking about,” says Jaebum. Very smoothly, in his opinion. Positively convincing.

 

“Oh, you were  _ so  _ staring,” giggles Jinyoung, poking Jaebum in the ribs teasingly. “You were staring, staring, staring. Any more and your eyes would have popped out of your head and stuck onto his face like they were magnetised or something.”

 

“That put a very disturbing image in my head. Thank you for ruining my sleep for tonight.” Jaebum pulls his phone out of his pocket and opens it, only to be greeted by his painfully empty notification list. Great. He shouldn’t have muted his Instagram notifications.

 

Jinyoung shakes his head patronisingly. “You're trying the phone distraction thing on me? That's pathetic. And you don't even have a life enough for that.” He pushes the power button on the phone. “Don't even attempt to.”

 

“Why don't you ever annoy Mark like this?” asks Jaebum, taking a stab at changing the subject. “Am I the only one older than you given the honour of having to deal with this sarcastic ass side of you? I mean, I'm assuming Jackson doesn't count because he's basically younger than you.”

 

Jinyoung doesn't seem to have registered anything after the first question. “Reasons are reasons, sweetheart. Mark is nice, you are not. You get what you are.”

 

“You mean Mark is nice to  _ you. _ ” Jaebum grins and wiggles his eyebrows.

 

“I could be asking you the same question, you know?” shrugs Jinyoung, making a show of observing his nails before shifting only his gaze upwards to say, “I mean, you're not nearly as nice to me as you are to Youngjae.”

 

Ah. There is the name that Jaebum hoped would not crop up in this conversation, because here is the huge secret that he thinks no one knows but him.

 

He has a mega-huge, unbelievably painful, absolutely unexplainable, crazily crushing crush on Choi Youngjae.

 

Yes. Jaebum has a crush on Youngjae. Who would've guessed? Jaebum didn't think anyone would. I mean, it wasn't as though he had a habit of perpetually looking in Youngjae's direction or as though he showed that he was obviously partial towards Youngjae or that he didn't take every opportunity to stand closer to Youngjae or—

 

Oh fuck.

 

Jinyoung still has his laser gaze on, waiting for a response from Jaebum as the older's entire life flashes before his eyes. “That's because you're you, and he's Youngjae.”

 

“What's that supposed to mean?” grins Jinyoung, sensing how flustered Jaebum has gotten. The result of long years of friendship means that Jinyoung is remarkably perceptive of what goes on in Jaebum's head.

 

In fact, Jaebum's a little surprised that it took Jinyoung this long to get here, now that he actually thinks about it. “That means that he's easier to be nice to than you are.”

 

“Is he also easier to stare at?” Jinyoung continues as Jaebum opens his mouth to argue. “Don't even  _ try _ to tell me I'm mistaken. What do you take me for? An idiot?”

 

“Actually, yes.”

 

Jinyoung opts for a second grade clapback. “Takes one to know one.”

 

Jaebum glares.

 

“You going to say something about it?” asks Jinyoung, but he's changed his tone to one of an understanding friend. Jaebum can sense the little minions in Jinyoung's brain scuttling to gather all the mental scrolls on relationship advice that Jinyoung has accumulated through reading too many rom-com books in his free time.

 

“No, I'm not,” says Jaebum tersely. It's a sensitive topic with him. Never before has he been on such fragile grounds that it would make a world's difference if he was rejected.

 

“Understandably,” concedes Jinyoung, lapsing into a bit of a silence as he figures out his next few sentences.

 

Jaebum's eyes wander to the other end of the room where Jackson and Youngjae are rehearsing their latest dance routine together. Jackson accidentally steps on Youngjae's foot, for which Youngjae hits him on the shoulder, making Jackson squawk and begin blathering about respect for elders while Youngjae laughs that loud, sunshiny laugh of his. The corners of Jaebum's face soften at that. Youngjae catches his eye and gives him a separate smile, his eyes curving into crescents.

 

Jaebum smiles back, his stomach doing a wave. Jinyoung laughs softly next to him, whispering, “You're so gone for him.”

 

Jaebum sighs. Way to point out the obvious.

 

“You might actually have a chance, you know.” There's a tentative note to Jinyoung's words. “I was thinking of getting Yugyeom to investigate, but I had this conversation with you first.”

 

Jaebum rolls his eyes. “Honestly, I wouldn't compliment your intelligence for even thinking of making that move, but I should commend you on your decision to recruit Yugyeom and not Bam. For one, Bam is oblivious. For two, he's obvious.”

 

“You're still mad about that hidden camera?” chortles Jinyoung.

 

“It was a good prank!” whines Jaebum like a child. “It would have been aired if Bambam didn't give the game away in three seconds flat.”

 

“We did get him to pay for dinner after that, so we got something out of it.” Jaebum rolls his eyes once again at Jinyoung's food-centricity. “So I guess you never know.”

 

Jaebum's eyes flick back to Youngjae, and he notices the other quickly avert his gaze. His eyebrows furrow.

 

Maybe you do never know, but Jaebum isn't going to do anything until he believes he knows something at least.

  
  


*

  
  


It has been one hundred and fifty two days since Jaebum first realized that his feelings for Youngjae might stretch a little beyond simply platonic and protective. It has been one hundred and seventeen days since Jinyoung found out.

 

A lot has happened. For one, Youngjae moved out of their dorm to live with his brother. Jaebum was stone-faced as Youngjae moved the last box out. He understood, it wasn't that he didn't. It would be better for Youngjae to live with his immediate family, both emotionally and financially. That didn't mean that Jaebum was happy about it. Sometimes he gets up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water or something and he won't hear Youngjae's keyboard tapping or the insults hissed at the computer games, and he'll feel sad all over again.

 

But that's a little melodramatic because it's not like they completely lost him. They still see him because they're part of the same band, so their schedules coincide to a rather large degree. Sometimes, when their days stretch too long, or they have an early schedule, Youngjae stays over at the dorm, and those are the mornings when Jaebum goes to wake Youngjae up because that's one thing he missed from the time when he and Mark switched roommates.

 

Also, rather unconsciously, Jaebum has started becoming a little bit more clingy, hanging onto Youngjae in pictures and being a little more open with how soft he becomes around Youngjae. He didn't notice it himself, Mark pointed it out. With a very significant look. Jaebum is going to punch Jinyoung. What a traitor.

 

But another thing that's changed in him is how afraid he's becoming. A crush no longer seems like an accurate way to put his feelings, and it's spinning out of control faster than Jaebum can attempt to reel himself in. The words rest on the tip of his tongue all the time, and he's petrified that they'll spill out one day. What if Youngjae doesn't like him back? What if he starts hating Jaebum? What if they can't look each other in the eye or stay in the same room after this? What if GOT7 disbands over this? Jaebum isn't leader for nothing. He'll put the band before anything, any day, anywhere.

 

Even if it means having to live with a painful ache in his chest and having to swallow his thoughts every time they resurface, which is often.

 

Way too often.

  
  


*

  
  


It's one of their days off, and Jaebum is lounging on the couch of their dorm after returning from a heavy lunch with the others, Youngjae leaning on the opposite arm of the couch, their legs tangled in the space between them. It's familiar and comfortable. Jaebum can't help the small upward tug of his lips, scrolling through his social media while simultaneously surveying Youngjae doing the same. His phone suddenly buzzes in his hand.

 

**From: That Peach Ass Loser**

how domestic ;;;;;;)))))))

_ 14:47 _

 

Jaebum frowns and looks over at Jinyoung sitting on the other side of the room, eyes innocently on the book in his hands until he looks up and throws Jaebum a mischievous wink.

 

**To: That Peach Ass Loser**

i don’t think you’re allowed to comment here ^^

_ 14:48 _

 

As if on cue, Mark yells from one of the rooms, “Jinyoungie! Have you seen my pink hoodie?”

 

“Which one?” Jinyoung yells back.

 

“The dark pink one!”

 

“It's called burgundy, for God's sake!” chides Jinyoung, rolling his eyes affectionately. “And it's in my room, third shelf of the dresser!”

 

Mark yells back a thank you approximately half a minute later, during which time another text has reached Jinyoung’s phone.

 

**To: That Peach Ass Loser**

what are his clothes doing in your closet?? ;)

_ 14:50 _

 

**From: That Peach Ass Loser**

Shut up.

_ 14:50 _

 

**To: That Peach Ass Loser**

ohhhhhh capitalization and a full stop!! i'm shaking (o.o)

_ 14:51 _

 

“Who’re you texting?” asks Youngjae, a teasing twang to his voice.

 

Jaebum stops mid-satisfied-snicker to look up at Youngjae, who’s looking up at him with curiosity in his eyes, eyebrows raised. “Huh? Oh, I’m texting Jinyoung.”

 

“He’s literally sitting right there,” points out Youngjae, and Jinyoung smiles without looking up and shakes his head.

 

“I know,” nods Jaebum. “But it’s not like I’ve ever commented on your Instagram posts while sitting next to you, am I right?”

 

Youngjae gives him a smile, one that comes off as a little plastic. Alarm bells immediately start going off in Jaebum’s head. When Youngjae’s smiles turns plastic, it’s a sign that something’s on his mind and he’s not saying it. “What?” asks Jaebum.

 

“Nothing,” says Youngjae quickly. Too quickly. His eyes go back to his phone, and Jaebum decides to drop it, looking back at his own phone, mind unsettled. After a couple moments, Youngjae decides to say something, making Jaebum’s head snap upwards. “It’s just that from the look on your face, I was kinda guessing that you were texting someone you were… interested in.”

 

That takes Jaebum by surprise. Jinyoung has burst into soft giggles on the other side of the room, and excuses himself to go get a glass of water. “That’s real gross, Youngjae-yah,” says Jaebum finally. And yes, he’s interested in someone. Not Jinyoung. The irony of the situation is painful.

 

“Just thought,” mumbles Youngjae, shrugging and returning to his phone. Another afterthought leaves his mouth a couple seconds later, “But if you were interested in someone, you’d let me know, right?”

 

Jaebum considers that for a long moment. “Yeah,” he finally replies, hoping he doesn’t sound too much like he’s lying.

  
  


*

  
  


Fanmeets are simply events that have slipped into Jaebum’s list of Things He’s Used To. He doesn’t mind them. It’s always nice to interact with the fans, both the new faces and the familiar faces, and have a bunch of fun. Initially it was a little awkward for him, but he’s gotten used to them, as well as honed a set of skills to use at these fanmeets to keep the fans entertained. Playful banter, funny dancing—he’s still bad at aegyo, though.

 

He’s talking to some fans from the edge of the stage, attempting to employ a bit of teasing sarcasm to his words, because that’s apparently something that fans go nuts over. It actually seems to work, because one of the fans, starry-eyed and flushed, yells, “Marry me, Im Jaebum!” Wow, he didn’t know that employing Jinyoung’s sarcasm tips would find him a potential wife already. Too bad he’s not up for it right now.

 

“Uh, no, I don’t think so.” Youngjae walks from the other end of the stage to Jaebum’s side, looping his arm around Jaebum’s. “Im Jaebum is mine, so you can’t marry him.”

 

The fan pretends to be heartbroken and the others scream in approval. Jaebum feels like his heart is chipping away inside his chest. Sure, it’s a running joke, and it’s funny. It’s been funny for so long.  _ He’s my man. You can’t touch him, he’s mine.  _

 

And yet right now, it hits Jaebum a little hard, because they haven’t really brought up the phrase in a while, and only now does he wish—really, really wish—that that was the case. It physically hurts.

 

And if there’s one thing that Im Jaebum is completely clueless about, it’s timing. He pulls his mic away from his mouth and says quietly to Youngjae, not letting his mask drop. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

 

A flare of surprise in Youngjae’s eyes, but he doesn’t let his expression change either. Jinyoung probably sensing something is up (Super Eomma Senses or something), begins dancing to the song playing the background, successfully distracting the fans. “What? It’s not like you ever mean it.” There’s actually a note of hurt in Youngjae’s voice, and Jaebum’s voice is ripped from his throat because he doesn’t know how to respond. 

 

“Would you want me to mean it?” asks Youngjae bluntly.

 

Jaebum doesn’t know what to say. Should he be honest and say yes, and risk finding out that Youngjae didn’t feel the same way? Should he lie and say no, and throw away any chance that he has to find out if his feelings are reciprocated? Is this a trick question? A trap? He’s been up a river without a paddle all this time, and now he feels like he’s pitching off a waterfall.

 

“Oh, okay.” Youngjae’s voice is soft and apologetic, regret pulsing in those two simple words. He lets go of Jaebum’s arm and walks over to the other end of the stage like nothing just happened, proceeding to talk to Jackson about some plushy that the rapper received, a change so sudden but no one notices but Jaebum.

 

Jaebum remembers that he has to snap out of his mini reverie, which he does, but he still doesn’t know what the heck just happened. The rest of the fanmeet proceeds without much of a hitch, even though Youngjae very subtly, completely avoids him. Jinyoung shoots him a concerned look somewhere in the middle, but Jaebum doesn’t find the moment to tell him what happened.

 

Their manager suggests that Youngjae stay at their dorm since their schedules start really early the next day, and Youngjae has no choice but to agree. Besides, they’re always happy to have Youngjae spend the night there, because it feels like old times. Jaebum’s a little apprehensive, but he has no say here either, and Mark’s doing a great job of keeping Youngjae engaged with some Overwatch videos, so he can’t complain.

 

Later that night, it’s nearly twelve-thirty and Jaebum is still staring at the ceiling, going over Hypothetical Conversation #234 in his head. Then he decides that he has to get up and talk to Youngjae. Like right now, this moment. He’s never good with letting things fester and complicate, and if he can solve this now, that would be brilliant. 

 

He gets up and makes his way to the living room, where Youngjae is curled into one edge of the couch, headphones on and watching a video on his phone. Jaebum suddenly wants to run back to his room and pull the covers over his head and stay there forever, because this confrontation could have so many consequences, and he doesn’t want to deal with any of them. But then he reminds himself that  _ no,  _ he has to do this. Besides, Youngjae has just noticed him standing there, so there’s no backing out now.

 

“Figured you’d be awake,” says Jaebum as Youngjae removes his headphones and keeps them to the side.

 

“Figured you’d eventually come to talk to me,” replies Youngjae, and Jaebum half-smiles at how well Youngjae knows him. “Sit.” Jaebum takes a seat next to Youngjae, placing his palms on his knees and searching for words.

 

“I suppose you want an explanation for what I meant earlier?” prompts Youngjae, tentativeness in his voice. God, all of Jaebum’s protective senses just go on high alert at that.

 

“Sure, why not.”

 

Youngjae sighs. “Why not?” he asks with a almost bitter chuckle. “Because you probably won’t want to talk to me after this.”

 

“Yeah, like that’ll ever happen,” says Jaebum, playfully rolling his eyes and getting a small laugh from Youngjae.

 

“I’m not kidding.” Youngjae’s seriousness makes a comeback. He draws his legs up to his chest and places his chin on his knees, looking at Jaebum with uncertainty in his dark irises.

 

“I’m not kidding either,” says Jaebum, dialling up how much he means that. He reaches out and places a hand on Youngjae’s arm, feeling Youngjae tense at that. “What, are you going to tell me that you secretly hate me or something?” At this point, he’s genuinely worried.

 

“No.” A pause. “Quite the opposite, really.”

 

When he says it like that, it doesn’t quite register with Jaebum. Because he thinks if he acknowledges what is actually going on, his whole world is going to tilt on its axis and he’s going to fall off the edge and possibly just keep falling for eternity. “Huh?”

 

“I like you,” says Youngjae bluntly. 

 

Jaebum’s frozen, a million thoughts running through his head.  _ No. yes. Oh my God, no. You’re a fucking idiot, he just said. _ Youngjae stays silent, waiting for some kind of reaction. Finally, Jaebum says, “Did Jinyoung put you up to this? Where’s the hidden camera?”

 

“Oh my God, I’m not kidding,” sighs Youngjae, placing his forehead on his knees. “I can’t kid about things like this.” He suddenly looks up with a frown, crossing his arms across his chest and resting his legs against the arm of the couch. “But why would Jinyoung hyung put me up to this?”

 

“Ah, about that.” A bright grin spreads across Jaebum’s face as the roots of realization begin sinking into his brain. There’s no point in hiding anything right now. “That’s probably because he’s the only one to whom I’ve admitted that I like you.” 

 

There. There are the words. And it feels so freeing, so amazingly liberating to have finally said them out loud. It feels like a dam of emotions has opened inside him, and all the painful knots that have worked themselves into his chest over the last few months have just disappeared, replaced with a warm glow of acceptance, of hope, of affection, of plain, pure happiness. Maybe all the pain endured was all worth it, just for this moment.

 

Jaebum will never let Jinyoung recommend books to him again, if this is how all his internal monologues are going to go. Disgusting.

 

“You’re serious?” whispers Youngjae, face flushing. Jaebum nods, lips curving into a bashful smile. Of course he’s serious. If he had enough words, if all his song-writing skills hadn’t just completely deserted him right now, he’d be able to elucidate an explanation on how much he loves Youngjae’s smile, his large heart and his positivity, amongst all the other qualities that make Youngjae the person that he is. The person for whom Jaebum has such feelings for that they transcend the need for him to use words. He knows that Youngjae gets it. They haven’t known each other for years for nothing.

 

Youngjae lets a full, sunshine smile take over his face before he scooches a little closer to Jaebum, a bit of shyness to the action. Jaebum laughs and asks for a hug, because Youngjae’s hugs are literally the warmest and he’ll take them whenever.

 

“I don’t even get why you have to ask,” says Youngjae, hugging Jaebum so tight that they both fall over together, Jaebum’s head hitting the arm of the couch, his arms wrapped loosely around Youngjae’s waist. Youngjae’s face is centimeters from his, and yes, this was intended to happen. Youngjae laughs softly, and Jaebum raises his hand up to push Youngjae’s long black bangs away from his face. “Do I need to ask if I want to kiss you?”

 

Because he wants to. He really, really wants to. He’s been wanting for so long, he can’t believe that he finally is at a situation where he’s getting what he’s wanted.

 

Youngjae’s face grows warmer, and Jaebum can literally feel the warmth seeping into his fingertips that rest gently on Youngjae’s face. Instead of answering the question, Youngjae dips his head slightly, his lips landing on Jaebum’s, and holy fuck, this is everything that Jaebum has wished for. It’s a short kiss, a sweet one, one that has Jaebum’s heart thumping so hard that he can hear it himself and is pretty sure Youngjae can too. And he’s so addicted to the feeling that he pulls Youngjae down for another kiss, a longer one this time, and then another, and then another.

 

“Looks like you’re really mine now, Choi Youngjae,” whispers Jaebum with a contented sigh and a huge smile as Youngjae rests his head on Jaebum’s shoulder.

 

“Looks like you always were mine, Im Jaebum,” replies Youngjae cheekily, his fingers tracing patterns on Jaebum’s chest.

 

Jaebum smiles. He can’t argue with that.

 

He’s always going to be Youngjae’s.

  
  


*

  
  


Yugyeom lets out a shriek when he walks into the living room, greeted by the sight of two of his fellow members sleeping on the couch. Youngjae’s body is half on top of Jaebum’s, held close by Jaebum’s arm, and their hands are intertwined on the other side. Yugyeom did not expect to be attacked by this sight at five-thirty in the morning. “What the  _ fuck  _ is going on? The one time that I’m the first awake, this is what I have to witness?”

 

“What’s happening?” asks Kunpimook, dragging his sleepy feet into the living room and stopping next to Yugyeom’s shocked face.

 

Yugyeom gestures exaggeratedly at the spectacle on the couch, and Kunpimook shrugs.

 

“Oh that? I’ve been expecting that to happen for years. Can’t believe you’re even surprised, Gyeom.” 

  
  


*


End file.
